One evening, while the other half was boring me to death watching football, I decided to have a look at game shows and how to apply for one. I had always considered myself to be the font of all useless quiz knowledge, and so decided I might as well put it to good use and earn some cash!!
I logged on and did a quick search, a few sites came up directing to me to tv channel shows and then 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' caught my eye! I was an avid fan of the program and had shouted at the TV for a number of years, "if I could only get my arse in that seat" so I thought I would give it a go and be a millionaire!
The instructions were 'to write about why you would make the show interesting in 200 words or less' an easy task for me, the women with a writing talent, ridiculous surname and a colourful and random job CV.
The content contained the theme of Chipchase (my name) having previously owned a chipshop (Chapel Chipshop) and my other side line job of being the astrologer for the Rochdale Observer, having Astrodawn as an alias. I funnied it up, counted the words to 198 and clicked send.
I knew that thousands of people applied every week, some making it a part time job, and to be honest forgot all about it.
Life carried on as normal, approximately 5 weeks later after just getting in from work, my mobile rang. "Hello, is this Dawn Chipchase? We are ringing from Who wants to be a Millionaire, you have been chosen along with 100 people, from 3,800, are you still interested in coming on the show?" Was I interested?? I went from a few seconds stunned silence, to a permanent ecstatic excitement.
The next process of the 100 to 10 involved a trip to Newcastle, for a camera interview with 3 producers from the show.
I sat waiting with the other 100 potential contestants, for my turn to go 'into the room' I walked into an X factor situation with 3 producers and cameras on me, they asked a couple of things regarding what I had written on my application, and the astrology aspects, now I have to mention when I'm nervous I turn into a stand up comedian, a natural banter flowed between me and the man in the centre, and I walked out thinking, well if that didn't go well, give up!
I returned back to normal life and waited, hoping, hoping, hoping........ Then the phone call came, "Dawn you have been chosen, can you come to London for a few days to film the show"
After being screened for a criminal background, being told what I could and couldn't wear, and having a short biography done, I arrived at Elstree Film studios, in London in an over excited state, I was placed in my own changing room, and asked to complete my 'phone a friend' list, before being took into the main studio for an afternoon practice run.
We were all given a chance to get onto the chair, which wasn't easy being very high, we were given a talk, then had a tutorial trial of waving at the camera, easy just wave when they say the person before yours name and then 2 chances at 'fastest finger first'
I won it twice, after that my heart rate was at maximum, I could feel the adrenaline rising fast, and I went off to get ready...........sweating, over excited, and shaking.
A couple of hours later, we were stood in the corridor, I could hear the audience, and panic stuck, what if I got in the chair and all the people from my past saw me with sweaty ring armpits!!!!!! I thought quickly, and asked to go to the toilet. I then decided it would be a good idea to roll up large amounts of toilet rolls and place them under my armpits to reduce my sweat ring terror. The plan being, to remove them and throw them under the chair, when the lights went down, just before the fastest finger bit, thus keeping my adrenaline excitement sweat under control.
It started to go wrong immediately, the wave in the afternoon was easy, but with an audience of 300 clapping their best claps, I couldn't hear and thus started to wave 6 people early, with the toilet rolls slipping, by the time the camera came on me I looked like a disorientated lunatic. The lights went down, and disaster number 2, I found myself the only contestant still lit up by the spotlight lighting Chris Tarrant (contestant number 9 always is I have since noticed)
I sat there trying to formulate a plan to get rid of the toilet rolls, with a huge spotlight on me? Fastest finger time......the question came I missed it by 0.5 seconds due to my second look checking.
The toilet rolls were getting worse, the light was still on me, I continued sweating and worrying about the removal, while I sat waiting for the winning contestant to get to £50,000 actually wishing her to get it wrong for another chance at the fastest finger. The plan for the second go was not to behave like a Capricorn and to just press as fast as I could.
fastest finger time came again......I listened I pressed, as fast as I could and mixed 2 up in my haste and'got it wrong' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
The show ended and I walked back to the green room, with my head hanging, still poor, with disintegrating peices of tissue, falling out of the sleeves of my top. I was devastated. I met Chris Tarrant who thought it funny to call me ChipShop, I spoke to the producer who told me to re-apply and then I set off on the long drive back.......deflated,trying to think that I had done well do actually get on the show in the first place.
Unfortunately for me I was a college lecturer, I walked into work with 400 students all asking me if I won, followed by a 'oh didn't you even get out of the chair' with an air a failed disinterest.
I am now called 'Slowest Finger Last' memories of that day have left me in a trauma state, and no I didn't reapply, I don't even watch the program anymore.
Has it put me off?? No way, Weakest Link here I come!!!!
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